Dear Bram,
Let's put a few things straight. I love VTES and I like to play the game with each and every one of you. I also have a professional and a private life next to VTES. Both are important to me.
That being said, people should understand I lack the time (and the patience) to organize our friendly games every week. I was available to come play in Bxl on 20/07, but I'm wasn't doing a head-count, asking around for people, taking organisation/responsibility for that evening. This should not be demanded (Yes Bram, you coerce and oblige me) from me every time. I don't mind organizing and and getting people together from time to time, but I also expect others to take that lead. (And yes Bram, I know you often take on that responsibility too.)
As you rightfully mentioned, there is/was an interested player. As I have told you after the tournament, his name is Andres and he can be found through our Facebook group. Other than that, I don't know the player either. You could've contacted him the same way as I would've had to do. Yet somehow, you refuse to do so and put responsibility in my shoes. So I again, I do take offense of you obliging me to take on the organisation for which I have clearly stated I didn't have the time.
Indeed, you contacted me through sms and messenger and kept asking: "how many players are there? Who else is coming? What did you discuss with Michel? ..." and I responded: "I don't know. I'm available to play, but I don't have time/motivation to organize." After seeing your last wall of text in the middle of helping my brother move his furniture, I turned of my phone in disgust. My message just wasn't getting through to you. And seeing your post, I think it still isn't.
In the end, I want to play this game to enjoy myself and have a good time. When this is no longer the case, then the game has lost it's interested to me.
About your reference about the evening in Antwerp, I agree with you on what happened. Indeed, my girlfriend had an exam the next day. So it was ideal for me to be out of the house and give her some time on her own to study. However, during the evening she started panicking and experiencing heavy performance anxiety. I decided last minute to stay home and look after her and I contacted you to let you know. Under the same circumstances, I would make the same decision again. If this makes me a bad person or an untrustworthy player, so be it.
However, I'm glad you speak your mind and allow me to reply. I am taking the lesson here about communication. Next time, if there is a possibility I will have to cancel, I will reconsider about joining the game. Also, I will try to be even clearer towards you about the responsibility i'm taking for a certain evening. In return, I ask you not to put the full responsibility of every casual evening on my shoulders and respect my life outside VTES.
Tom
and though We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
~Tennyson~